i'm such an asshole

now then i realise how assholic i can get.. i'm not worthy for any of my friends.. they thoughtfully cared for mi.. but i gleefully took it as if all was for granted.. i'm shit... darn it.. i'm guilt-stricken after the conversation with jasmine through msn.. she knew i'm going to make contact lens as i kept on pestering her to accompany me.. but juz now.. she remembered tat she wanted to get contact lens, she thoughtfully msged me if i wanted to go.. but being an asshole.. i said i wanted to play games and such then i dun feel like going.. darn it.. sometimes.. i really hate myself.. my friends have always been there for me... i took it all for granted... i felt so guilty after i thought through about it.. i'm speechless........