*censored*

Listening - Slipknot : Duality

i was calling my dad to enquire about the laptop when he told me that don't buy the laptop. say he's going to NS soon, so i can use the computer shit. he's the one being selfish at first. he's the one at fault in the fucking first place. why the fuck he put everything down in my name and claim it's my fucking fault. says i'm too materialistic and stuff.

that motherfucking asshole psychoed my dad into not buying a laptop for me. i've been getting all this shit all these days. what the fuck is wrong with this fucking whole world. is everyone against me or what. well, maybe just my god damn assholic brother. he doesn't know what i need. he doesn't know what i want. and yet he's speaking all those shit to my father. i need a laptop because i need my privacy and i need mobility to do everything that i need outside the house. he doesn't understand a fucking shit about what are my purpose in the, what are my goals. you think i will want to get a laptop? not that i've not considered about my finance status. i've thought about it. that's why i'm willing to do all shit to get a laptop. for my own use!

i caught him red handed meddling with my stuff. i have every right and every reason to get a laptop. and look what he done to me. all those bullshit comments made my dad changed his mind. totally. it's not as if i'm calling my dad to sponsor me or something. i'm willing to save up and pay it myself. if i'm calling my dad to sponsor. whatever decision he comes to, i will respect it. but now it's my money! my own fucking money! what the hell more do you expect from me?

i never knew how much he's an ass. well, for sure, if he wants to talk to me about this. i swear to everyone who read this entry, i'm going to slam the fucking door right in his fucking face and ignore him right from the beginning. i'm not going to give in this time.

for once he told me, if i want to get a laptop because of my own needs, i will have to work hard for it. for once i thought, he really considered in the shoes of my parents and me. but now, he screwed up everything. EVERYTHING!

you guys keep on saying that i'm not giving in to my brother. you think i don't want to reconcile? it's not as if i'm trying not to hate him. he just fucking screw it up. now what you guys have to fucking say about it. if you are going to persuade me about reconciling with my brother. forget it. shut your trap and get a fucking life. i will never forgive what he have done. all the bullshit he have said. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU MORONIC BITCH. for now you can see how hypocrite my brother is.

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the band thing, it's coming along with lots of ups and downs. bassist maybe gone, vocalist maybe gone. i've got it covered up. trying my best to persaude my friend into our vocalist so the bassist will stay. hope everything goes well. the vocalist says that the road that we are taking now isn't what she have in mind. let's see what turns out.