best friend?

why am i always a best friend? WHAT IS best friend? i will make myself autistic if someone says i'm their best friend again. i don't want to be a best friend. what does it mean to be a best friend? am i just a best friend and that's it? it's sad, i'm just a nobody. i'm just what you all always say, a best friend..

你从不知道，我想做的不只是朋友。