Halloween anyone?

Watching : Mudvayne - Death Blooms

tomorrow's halloween and yet no one's into the mood of halloween. singaporeans are such a letdown. of all things you guys celebrate, you don't celebrate halloween. it's such a fun occassion yet singapore.. so boring.

well, math is all that's around my head right now. except for a few bits of science and CCNA. well, i sure hope i can at least pass this time. don't want to be such a letdown to my parents. but i still don't know if i want to go poly or not. my dad's so looking forward for me to go poly. what if i break the news to him? what will he react. i don't wish to go poly right now. maybe after NS. but after NS, i have plans to go USA.

dilema. URGH! i don't want to get my dad disappointed, but i want to pursue what i want to pursue. rather than cooping up in this small nation. i want to go outside. to see the world. a good old 18 years going 19. i've still not go out of singapore and see what's the real world and what actually taking place out there. i'm really curious.

can someone tell me what to do. i need some advice. shed some light..

high hope

Listening : Nothing

well, i put myself on high ropes that is. thought i can import the slipknot dvd. but in the end. i round of meaningless joke to me. today's just SO SO not my day.

the privacy policy state something that pulled me right to the bottom. thanks. today's just SO not my day. i'm going to sleep. in hope for a better day tomorrow.

friends

Watching: Mudvayne - Death Blooms (dvd-rip)

who am i to you guys? you need help, i will try all means and ways to help. but when i'm trying to get to you guys, what do you guys do? SHOO me off. what the fuck is wrong with me and you guys.

let's just say this chain of events made me came to this conclusion.

i was out with my friend at orchard when my friend's leaving off to set off for work. so i was left behind at orchard. and why did my friend call me to go orchard? because she wants me to accompany her to go get her pink denim jacket.

SO MUCH FOR BEING NICE...

let's just not be so evil. let's name my friends.

i called A to ask if she could teach me my math tonight. she says she is lethargic. so i thought okay, maybe i choose a nearby place to let her teach me. BUT NO! she say she's tired and she won't be going out for the night. so okay. fine... i put down the phone.

while i was left behind at orchard, i went searching up and down far east for hairband and ankle socks, for J. when i couldn't find those pair of ankle socks, i called him if i can go his house and pass him the hairband. and maybe he can teach me my graph. BUT NO! he shooed me off and in the end, he reluctantly agreed. RELUCTANTLY. so i thought nevermind. don't go already. since he sound so reluctant.

so i called someone again to meet them. A bunch of them. but they are at seng kang. i thought maybe i can go down there because they maybe staying out till very late with lots of programme. BUT NO! they are photo whoring then after that they go jalan kayu eat then go home. i'm so so not going cause jalan kayu's prata are so ex. and they say they are going to go home after that. hmmm... nevermind, i thought. put down the phone.

then i called C. i want to collect my colour pencil from her. when she borrowed from me. i tried every means and ways to meet her to lend her cause i thought she need it urgently. then now, she's out shopping and maybe having dinner with her friends. MAYBE ONLY. so much for the help.

so now i'm at home writing this piece of entry.

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS. I'M SO HAPPY HAVING YOU GUYS AS MY FRIENDS. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

Stuff like that

Watching : Mike Mangini - Drum solo
Listening : ill nino - what you deserve
Listening : roadrunner united - the end


you know what's the meaning of idiot?

1. A foolish or stupid person.
2. A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

my brother's truly an idiot. you know what he did? he misplaced the USB cable for the digital camera. now i can't upload anything. so for what you get a digital camera? get a film camera so that you can wash and just scan those photos up. and the best thing is.. the digital camera is not his. it's the whole family's. and when he went overseas, he borrowed digital camera from my uncle. TOTALLY WITH NO SHAME. like it's the way it should be. he borrowed it to cover up this flaw of his. he's truly an idiot.
enough of his stupid deeds.

went to the class chalet. it was fun with all those truth or dare stuff going on. first night was mahjong all the way. the other bunch was playing truth or dare. i was playing PSP when i get hugged for nothing. totally out of the blue. after that, i went to bed, while i felt something hitting my butt. truth or dare again.

2nd day, woke up and heard tales of people hitting my butt, kissing my forehead and playing with my flabby stomach. what the hell. sleep also want to disturb. totally speechless. mahjong again, and then everyone's like hungry? so we ordered pizzas. not one or two. SIX of them! anyway, it's on wei liang the scholarship, the $1200 taker. ate like 5 1/2 of it. damn full, went to bed after that.

woke up by raymond sitting on my stomach, talking about waking me up for BBQ. he's damn gay. bbq was fun with all the people around, but the things that turned me off. the small BBQ pit and the invasion of the red ants. BBQ for a total of 6 hours. went up, shared the foods. played around when people are starting to get tired and stuff. played truth or dare again. but not much fun as the first night. played murderer. damn i sucked at the game. the loser have to drink soft drinks with vodka in it. seriously, the amount i drank can fill up a full 1.5 litre bottle. i kept losing. till the whole 4 bottles of mixed soft drinks are gone. everyone went dead. except for a few. no comfortable place to sleep.

woke up, packed and checked out. the usual stuff. went home. slept. didn't realised i was late for night class. woke up. rushed.

MY MATH TEACHER IS THE COOLEST TEACHER.. EVER!

he's hell of a funny guy, and he is the author of a math book available at all book stores! it was till yesterday that the whole class knew that. he gave all of us the book. and even signed it. wait till i get the software from jiji, then i upload his photos up, and from rosanna too. then i scan his book to let all to see. *laughs. he's hell of a good guy. his name is MR YAN KOW CHEONG. look out for his math book.

he motivated me to push even harder for my math O levels. YEAH!

new found obssession

Watching : Roadrunner United - The End

This song, is the heart and soul of 5 males and 1 female.
Matt Heafy ( Trivium ) - vocals
Dino Cazares (ex- Fear Factory ) - rhythm guitar
Nadja Peulen (ex- COAL CHAMBER ) - bass
Roy Mayorga (ex- SOULFLY , MEDICATION , THORN )- drums
Logan Mader (ex- MACHINE HEAD , SOULFLY ) - melodic guitar harmonics
Rhys Fulber ( FRONT LINE ASSEMBLY ) - keyboards, programming

on bass, Nadja Peulen. her bass is simply fantastic, ex bassist for coal chamber.

you can download this video through www.hdpvidz.com or stream it through www.roadrunnerrecords.com.

can anyone tell me where to get roadrunner united cd? looked through HMV. they don't have it.

having chalet later, shan't do much talking and more math problems done. home everything goes and i don't let my anger get the better of me.

freaky comments

Watching : BucketHead - WhiteWash

requested by someone to try blog everyday. *laughs.. will try to do that. but sure not around my exam period. *laughs.

buckethead's a genius. thank you very much.

yesterday went out with claris, jasmine and her cousin to study. her cousin's like so bored. we were down there studying while she's scribbling on papers. then she went to popular to read story books and spent hours there! she sure is a book fanatic.

after that, went to have steamboat with them. laughed like crazy people, even jasmine's cousin is laughing her ass off. so much for first time meetings. *laughs. they keep on claiming that i'm crying when i'm not! i'm totally speechless.

called my mum, i was so so dumbfound, when i heard my mum say, 'here got KFC'
profanities starts flying out of my mouth.

went to my grandma house for family gathering. it's like they are kind of speechless about my hair. everyone's like awed and started criticising it. whatever. i love it. *laughs.

even my grandma say, 'ee su ka jiu hor. ee a si bo jid ai tao mor, jiu bor xiang ee ai.. wa mm zai ai an zua ta... ee ai pa guitar eh.'
in chinese, it means : 'as long as i like my hair this way, then it's alright. if he don't have this hairstyle, he won't be like.. i don't know how to say, the 'hit' guitar one'

MY GRANDMOTHER ROCKS!

so my grandmother somehow rocks my world. love her to bits.

later will be meeting jerry to test out his gt6. will get criticisms again. heck. i love my hair.

Mugging to bits

Watching : MetalInjection - SlipKnoT mixtape

everyone's like so panicky about O levels. even i start having the mood to study for it, last minute. hope everything turn out fine. pass my math and everything will be right in place. where it belong, it stays.

i'm seriously sad about jerry's incident. his wife needs a repair. all i can do is just sit and stare. he offered help without hesitation to get me my wife, an electric guitar. now, still owing him the money, his wife is in serious condition and all i can do is sit and stare. and see him work his ass off just to repair his wife. i seriously need to reflect on myself. i'm getting a job after my O's. I NEED IT!

speaking of jobs, kind of pissed off with my parents but i didn't pick on anything they said. just force a fake smile. my dad accompanied me to register for O level exams.

he just now asked, in mandarin.. 'eh, you now ITE holiday right? why don't get a job?'

my mum, just told me to study hard for my O's this afternoon, forgot every single bit about O's. sitting beside my dad, she gave a frustrated look which you will see everytime your mum gets angry with you. she said, 'yeah, go get a job!'

i faked a smile, walked into the bathroom thinking, why the hell did i do study so much for, if they reall want me to get a job. get me out of school. i'll get a fuill time job. the pay is much higher than part time. HAPPY? if i fail my O's, fault is on who? me. they never gave a thought about who spiked me and made me think all these things.

and my 2nd brother, still living his ass off my parents, is not getting a job. so what? polytechnic's last year only what. a factor to get in the way of getting a job? FUCK YOU! i'm struggling with my ITE's school work and my O's. and at the same time some other stuff to earn some spare cash. so why the hell is he rotting at home eating shit?

going to church everyday is all he do. praise the lord is the ONLY thing he ever do. if praising the lord will get me money, i will praise the lord everyday, every single moment every minute. if praising the lord really help solves problem. i will praise the lord. everything bad happens to them, they thought god will render his help. actually, the problem just depletes through time or someone fixed it. but NO? everything that are nice happens, like problem solved, getting good grades.

PRAISE THE LORD

they all think it's god's doing. come on. don't waste your time praising the lord, praise me instead. i will give you counselling session and make your problem go away or ease the misery. call me lord then. sheesh.

the other thing he only do is read the bible. like he's going to get enlightenment just by doing that. with his attitude and his fuck face, he's going nowhere.

i don't like him for saying things he can't do. all he do is criticise and such. not much work is done there, alright. so hit the road. talk so much, ignorant talks. do so much, just an action to make people think you are hardworking. think so much, just to prevent it from rusting further because half of it is already covered by rust.

Mystified

Listening : Nothing

well, everything's cleared up. but i ain't sure if there is a dark shadow deep upon our hearts? i seriously believe there will be.

some of you may have seen it, some of you may have not. but i got a new haircut and a new hair look and i'm loving it. but i guess, the damn school is going to come chasing after me. again.

2 days ago, went to school to clear up the lockers. damn the school management for making last minute statements. it's always like that? getting kind of pissed. even paulo is pissed i must say. before that it was the changing of venue of the exam hall. no one was informed till the last 20 minutes where paulo starts panicking and start calling everyone.

enough said.

went to dye my hair the next day with kelly. she looks more like a little girl now. EVEN MORE. all thanks to huifen, my hair really looks like james root in the iowa days. i want it that way but i thought of the school rules, so maybe i should get a darker colour. BUT NO! she chose the colour and i thought yeah, that's alright. turned out to be blonde. but i still love it. thank you guys for waiting for us till our hair's done.

yesterday's science practical was a blast. physics is kind of stupid. i think i did real badly for physics. chemistry, bullseye. i got the right answer. ALUMINIUM NITRATE. it's not as difficult as what we think. we're just stressing ourselves out. but maybe the real papers are killers. you will never know. got to start prepare for it. alvin said it's very straight forward this year. everything's given.

went out with claris, jasmine anmd shai to study math after science practical. thanks for waiting for me till 3.30pm until the practical ends. had dinner. sent jasmine home. went for night class.

i've been getting weird stares from everyone. which i liked. everyone looks at me like i'm some freaking weirdo or something. with my new hair. *2 thumbs up. i'm loving it.

P.S.: thanks for fogiving after what i've done. although not a word of sorry came out from either of our mouth. nonetheless you took the initiative to speak to me first. thanks. i hope i will stop being a jackass and start knowing what's good for me.

time to revise for my math.

New lease of life

Watching : Buckethead - Whitewash

People = Shit

Here we go again, motherfucker!

Come on down, and see the idiot right here
Too fucked to beg and not afraid to care
What's the matter with calamity anyway?
Right? Get the fuck outta my face
Understand that I can't feel anything
It isn't like I wanna sift through the decay
I feel like a wound, like I got a fuckin'
Gun against my head, you live when I'm dead

One more time, mother fucker!

Everybody hates me now, so fuck it
Blood's on my face and my hands, and I
Don't know why, I'm not afraid to cry
But that's none of your business!
Whose life is it? Get it? See it? Feel it? Eat it?
Spin it around so i can spit in its face
I wanna leave without a trace
Cuz I don't wanna die in this place

People = Shit
People = Shit (Whatcha gonna do?)
People = Shit (Cuz I am not afraid of you)
People = Shit (I'm everything you'll never be)
People = Shit

It never stops - you can't be everything to everyone
Contagion - I'm sittin' at the side of Satan
What do you want from me?
They never told me the failure I was meant to be
Overdo it - don't tell me you blew it
Stop your bitchin' and fight your way through it
I'M - NOT - LIKE - YOU - I - JUST - FUCK - UP

C'mon mother fucker, everybody has to die!

People = Shit
People = Shit (Whatcha gonna do?)
People = Shit (Cuz I am not afraid of you)
People = Shit (I'm everything you'll never be)
People = Shit

------------------------------------------------

radio comm exam are over. don't know how i fare. hope for the best.

Happy Birthday, Winnie mei

restless nights

Listening : Slipknot - Duality(live dvd clip)

yesterday went out with tingx and company. was quite a gathering. talked so much about lots of things and such. had lunch at V8. damn, they were thinking of going marche to eat. are the nuts or something. but eventually we settled at V8 which is a good thing. *laughs. don't know if it's a surprise to them but seng kwang, vivien and me got huiming (the rather late greeting - 8th oct.) and winnie [the next upcoming birthday girl - 18th oct. (it falls on my exam day)] each a tiramisu cake. they are quite delighted. after that slacked around in orchard. went to slack at starbucks till 6 something. sent winnie home.

messaged someone all through the night till 2.45am. goodness. from midnight all the way! quite a record i must say. *laughs. missed her alot.

morning, woke up at 8.30am. prepared to go hoksan. as usual and expected. was way too early. slacked. so much stuff is done. without the usual people, can't slack much. did almost everything. was raining in the midst of going to the destination. drenched. shall not mention the details. went home at around 3.30pm. after that came back. here i am.

tomorrow class test and phase test. tuesday exam. feeling not much stress. *laughs. AM I GOING TO FAIL? *shrugs.

i am actually looking forward to halloweens. i want to see how happening singapore can be when it's a western culture to celebrate halloween. i already have my mask ready.

lethargic

Listening - Nothing

been busy lately, exams and tests around the corner. again, related to the previous entry. certificates. damn it. a piece of paper that's worth a million a decade ago and worth a piece of shit now.

tuesday, slacked around at home after school. doing the finishing touches for my new blogskin. nothing much. yesterday, went to PS for a walk. went home. lethargic, skipped night lesson. slacked around at the playground. was doing math when i realised i left everything at home. called people to kill time. none took up the job except for winnie.

problem sharing, reminscing of the old times.

today, came to class. blogging this thing. going out to see guitar with geek later.

doing up a list just in case i will forget anything important. i will kill myself if i ever forget any one of these events. all are important. in terms of human relation and exams. mostly are all exams and revision.

14-10-05 - tomorrow, make up class before going out with evonne.

15-10-05 - saturday, going out with winnie and company. revision at night. hopefully.

16-10-05 - sunday, hok san morning revision at night. hopefully.

17-10-05 - monday, morning school. test. revision for tuesday final exam on Radio Communication.

18-10-05 - tuesday, Final exam. smell the air of freedom for a while before preparing myself for O levels. Winnie's Birthday

19-10-05 - wednesday, morning make up lesson for practical. going out with vivafenz and jie to go dye hair after that. looking forward to it and the outcome of my hair.

20-10-05 - thursday, science O level practical.

basically that's the schedule for me end of this week and next week. pretty packed but at least i'm all occupied.

tension's setting in

Listening : Nothing

tension's setting in. yesterday went to night class. the mood was so damn sober even alvin don't have the mood to teach. he released us off 10 minutes earlier. it's like everyone's so tense over 2 or 3 questions. minor questions. everyone's panicking. even i'm feeling tensed. virginia (night class's classmate) actually cried as she's unable to cope with the stress. tension's really setting in. BE GONE FOE! BE GONE!

yesterday while going through the papers, i stumble across this question of bulbs and currents. there's actually a mistake, i pinpointed to alvin. he said it's like this. but yesterday he said he made a mistake. i got deducted off 4 marks just like that. stupid reason.

i was thinking, what if this really happens to me. as in, in the real exam. what should i do? but most probably we won't find out because we only know the results. we can't view the paper unless you make your way to MOE and pay a huge fee to view your papers. maybe that's the way they cover their mistakes? i, till now still strongly believes that last years art papers. there's major problems about it. but who got the balls to really go MOE and question them? none. cause you need to pay.

questions to ponder - is paper certification really THAT important? even though this is the cruel fact, but where's all the universities guaduate going? taxi drivers? if you read the newspapers, a trishaw rider at bugis. it's somehow contradicting.

if those few of papers are so worthy for us to use up a huge portion of our parents' savings, sending kids to universities just to be a hawker? a trishaw rider? a taxi driver? it doesn't condescend. maybe universities should come up with courses like Food and Beverage Engineering. and even better sponsoring universities student to take driving license.

another question, which is a better tetiary environment to study in? ITE (institude of Education), Polytechnics or JCs (Junior Colleges)? you decide.

tired, stressed and worn out.

listening : Slipknot - Before i forget

sat went out with the class to celebrate paulo's birthday. not much. went to pub see bar top dancing. quite turned off becasue the girl do the same thing over and over.

yesterday went to chu shi with tian eng. quite fun. playing the 'zhong ji mi ma'. kenna quite a few times. drank water like fuck. eat dau pok like fuck. we are practically drinking and eating like nobodies' business.

i'm in class now so can't blog much. doing my research. done.

damned

Listening : Nothing

a note to all you guys although you guys may not be reading because there aren't alot of people reading my blog. you think i don't know? i ain't stupid. i'll not be updating very often due to hectic schedule, heavy school work and for O levels.

yesterday was a fantabulous day, but my gastric kind of spoiled everything. the food in malaysia was good. the peeps there ain't that great but it sure is fun. bought lots of stuff. this is the first time i bought so much stuff without my parents with me. i was like this is nice. buy. this is cheap, must buy that kind of stuff. came back with quite a little trouble cause my bag was full, my hands are taking 3 big bags. alright, yesterday was just great.

alright, self reflection time.

everyday, without fail, whenever i go to school. i will see this physically handicapped

gentleman

, making his way with much difficulties to the stairs at the void deck to wait for a van to go to work.. i suppose. you see, he had one leg much more shorter than the other and his hands and face have that kind of typical handicapped person's feature. *i'm sorry if this sound quite mean. i tried thinking about better choice of words but i just don't know how to para-phrase it. i sincerely apologise.*

i'm not trying to discriminate him or something but when i saw him the first time which was like months ago.i was like giving him those wierd stares? but after much thinking on the bus while travelling. i was impressed. i have to admit. if i'm in his situation, i would just give up and stay at home do nothing. but he, he stayed strong and lead a normal life. i was impressed, very impressed. then i started to think.

if he, can stay strong not giving up and not being lazy to go out and work with all the wierd stares. why am i being such a lazy bump dreading to study. i must admit, i'm physically healthy, but i'm not mentally healthy. studying is much more easier than being out in the society to work. i just have to read books books and more books. while he have to go through those tedious stages of life and still come out strong. i'm seriously doubting myself, my capability and my abilty in all aspects.

now you know why i call this gentleman, a gentleman. i seriously respect him

tired, sick, damned.

Listening - nothing

i've only got 4 more minuntes left to blog. i'll make it a quick one

i'm dead beat. due to happy and unhappy chain of events. today sure is sucks. tied down by my gastric pain. it's pain like fuck and it's staying for good. after much rest and medication, not well. and i'm going to freaking malaysia tomorrow. how am i going to survive. anyone? ideas?