congratulations

listening : nothing

i'm running late for hok san's BBQ but still now i'm at home. oh well.

it's the last day of the year 2005. can't wait to go into the year 2006. 2005 have been a shit year to me. not to mention, it's the year i lost my grandma. hope everything goes well got everyone in the year 2006. will update tomorrow. today don't have the mood to blog.

cool~

listening : nothing

wow! the DS7 was the best! bought the cable, strings for jerry. BUT lu jie's string was unavailable. GONE. *laughs. well that's not the worst. the whole showroom was damn empty, and that's worse! *laughs. all the things i want to see. all gone. guitar rack which are always full of guitars, like around 40 odd guitars hanging, are left with like only 11 or 12 guitars left. those lousy ones. the strings i wanted, gone. well, what could be more worse. and it's only the first day. i can't imagine what are they going to sell tomorrow.

back to my DS7. WOW! it's has a very warm tone, but my lousy amplifier is the way. the buzzing was damn obvious when i on my amp's distortion. it's buzzing and NOT humming. now i know the difference jerry. *laughs! DS7! here i come! cool~ i can't wait for my next pedal.

redundant

Watching : Slipknot - Duality

26th Dec

went for the first band practice. it was good. everything's good. just need more communication and more co-ordination. tiet studio have LINE6 cabinet amps! tried it. love it to bits. SPIDER II 112 here i come! i'm so so going to get a LINE6 amplifier. don't know can get cabinet or not. like a little extreme. *laughs. well, jerry said i was damn noisy. am i? *laughs.

27th Dec

slack at home all day

28th

went out with jerry to look out for guitars for swee lee sale. it's going to be so crowded on the sale day which i have already experienced it just now. going to get cables, loads of strings and pick. well, i have to get 1 for lu jie, 1 for myself and 3 for jerry. jerry wanted those steve vai picks. see i got extra cash or not. help him get. i was actually messing around in the shop. jerry tried the ephiphone SG. total disappointment to me although i never try it. the high frets are hard to reach which makes a guitar quite redundant. the build is quite complicated. at the bolt on is the strapnut. which will hurt when you are strapping and playing with it. damn. so hard to find a decent guitar. ibanez may be the next one. but till then, i still must practice real hard. *laughs. saw siva. after that went to peace centre to see LINE6 amps and wait for jasmine.

well, jasmine did not really meet me there. i thought she got guitar lessons that day. I THOUGHT. so in the end, she was having piano lesson. went to meet her at lavender. she scared the crap out of me. oh well, that's my nice sister. went to have dinner. sent her home. i went back home.

29th (today)

slacked at home till 1pm. went to swee lee thinking that the queue would have more or less shorten. bloody hell it just get longer and longer and longer. the previous night, people are saying that the queue was till the escalator. but today. fucking shit. my drawing sucks but just look at the queue.


it's so fucking horrible. i didn't even care to go up to the third storey i went back home. i will go back there later after i had my dinner which is like 5.30pm. i sure i get can get my stuffs today. if not, i will never get to start exploring my DS7. damn.

should i cut my hair or not? i mean trim it. suggestions?

stinking hell

Listening - Nothing

Yesterday evening, i was busy with running from places to places celebrating christmas. i was NEVER into the mood of christmas.

firstly, met up with wanling. she had a very funny fringe. she just cut her hair. *laughs! her friend i must say, looks very kuku (nerd). gave her her presents. then go fetch her dog. then bring to let yuanyi see. *speechless* then i left.

met up with jasmine, claris, may yee and aiying. gave claris, jasmine and may yee their presents and i LOVE the present claris and jasmine bought for me. thank you both so much. well, i won't elaborate on what the present is because....... *silence*

after that went to kemangan for yan fei's party. AND FOR FUCK IS CHOUK YUE AT THERE? well then played poker then after a while i went off.

went to aunt's house. had a little chat and had dinner before i set off on the road again.

went to WC. BBQed all the way to 3am. those crazy people lion and dragon danced at 4am. a bunch of crazy people. well then, i slept at 5 and woke up at 7. then i went home.

today, slacked at home till 7.30. left home for puva's birthday party at toa payoh. i went there. i was the only motherfucking chinese down there. there's 2 function room. both rooms are ALL INDIANS. i can't stand it. i went to the lobby. then i wait for my friend for 30 minutes. she never turn up, i got tired of waiting, i left.

boredness

Watching - Slipknot : Live at Rock in Rio (full)

boredness, school's out for one week. going back to school at 3rd January. Will be back updating once christmas eve and christmas are out. busy with outings this 2 days. but the holiday week will be slacking my balls off. have to get my spaces at home organised. will clear out all stuff that's needed to be cleared off.

looking forward to monday and 29th and 30th Dec.

Merry Christmas to all you guys out there. though i'm not into it. just to send my greetings and i send my deepest condolences to yunfang and yolane for the lost of a great grandmother.

traumatised..

Listening : Slipknot - Wait and Bleed

Yesterday was the best day...

EVER!

First, i got to see a corpse in the afternoon. I'm still shocked by the fact but reality stunned me again early in the morning 1am. imagine waking up hearing a girl screaming in terror. not once, but for a whole 30 minutes. i woke up at 1 am. i heard a girl screaming in terror. i decided to ignore and try to go back to sleep. but the scream was just so.. i can't really pin down how terrifying it was. after like 5 minutes. i decided to go take a look.

i stood by my corridor. peered downstairs, i saw this bunch of malays and policemen grabbing this malay lady in the middle of the road. the lady was screaming in malay. but it seems that all the men can't stop her from screaming and struggling. she puked and struggled and shouted. the whole ordeal lasted for 30 minutes. the only thing i figured out what the malay girl was shouting was 'mati, satu, dua, tiga and aku kachap lapan.' my neighbours came out to see what was happening too. her guess was that the girl was possessed. i overheard her on the phone.

'i think the girl is possessed, this scene very much look alike like 'Excorcism of Emily Rose'.

suddenly, it struck me too. emily rose shouting in aramiac and english 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 when she was being excorcised, as seen in the show.

i was actually terrified and stood there trembling. watching the whole thing. after much hardship, the malay men brought her into a lorry and fetched her to somewhere else.

it took me 20 minutes just to get myself settled down and go back to sleep.

tarnished

Watching : Mudvayne - Forget to Remember

well, how many times have you in your entire life saw police tending to a corpse who have leaped to his/her death? i had 2.

it's terrifying, seeing people leap to their death just like that. their life ended at an instant, the moment they are in mid-air or the moment they hit the ground. some might ask, 'where got people die in mid-air?' i'll explain why that later on in my entry.

the first time i witness such stuff was when i was like primary 4 or primary 5. can't remember what took place. all that's left in my memory was seeing a lifeless body lying on the ground. the second time, moments ago. i was as usual on my way back home from school. i saw this crowd gathered at the block that's opposite mine. curiousity got the better of me. i went to take a glance. well, the police was covering the corpse with a blue tent. i left the scene immediately. i was in the lift with a few of my neighbours of the same block, they are talking about that incident too.

'what if someone accidently stepped on the eyeball that popped out?'

i was disgusted by the question and the ignorance of that kid. as i said, he's just a kid. i forgave his naiveness. what a question to ask when somebody have just leapt to his/her death. what have the world come to? seriously, we ought to take kids nowadays more seriously.

now, answer to that question. if my memories served me correctly, i remembered some science teacher told me that when one commit suicide by jumping off buildings, it's either that they are scared to death in the mid air, or they really hit the ground and die. true or false? i don't know. and i'm so glad that i will not be answering this question myself.

just in case some people don't know. it's a crime to take your own life. when you leap to death, lying in your coffin, i'm not sure if this is true or not but heard someone said that you will be handcuffed, even though you are dead and lying in your coffin. think thrice before you do anything.

alright! enough of all those leaping to death talks.

school's really boring me out. something to rejoice is that next week it will be a week holiday for us. i guess i will spend more time with my guitar.

mr noel sort of gave me a lecture about my grooming and my language. well, what's wrong with profanity. everybody in any point of time have used them. just that i'm using it more often in my conversations. it's me. don't try to change me. same goes to my hair. no matter what you say, i won't do anything to it. period.

it's going to be saturday. i will be dead busy on that day. basically is to go for band practice, go back home and change, then go out with claris and jasmine for a while before i set off to kemangan then to serangoon then to clementi. all in the time of four hours. wish me luck i will be spending enough time with them.

i'm spending far too much money for now. damn it. will have to change this bad habit of mine.

contented

Listening : Cynical Annihilation - Pandora's Box

school sucks. shall skip everything about it. *laughs. make me have so much assignments on hand. damn fuck. i'm so damn lethargic to do any of that. but still have to force myself to do it.

friday after school went to parkway with yong chun, baoyu and yanfei. well, yanfei did change quite a bit as in her appearance and her temper. main purpose, christmas presents. bought a few stuff for myself and some other people.

there's something i have to rant!

for what fuck chuok yue is doing at parkway?! i was quite unhappy to see him when i reached parkway and saw him with baoyu.(no i'm not jealous) he sticked around for like 10 minutes. that 10 minutes was the most difficult 10 minutes to spend. EVER! he's one of the largest, humongous, vast (whatever thesaurus you can think of with the word 'BIG') LOSER in the world. since secondary 2, i start to dislike him with his attitude and his fucked up acts.

he's always so extra, like he doesn't belong to any of the scenes you can think of in the world. let's see how fucked up he can be. i kept a hum because i don't like to talk when someone that i dislike totally is with the group. i will just list down one of the conversation they held.

Baoyu : Why you 2 so quiet? (refering to chouk yue and me)
Chuok Yue : Then why are you so noisy?
Baoyu : Because you 2 so quiet ma, then i noisy lo. see you 2 like so tensed like that, so i talk to try to ease up the atmosphere.
Chuok Yue : There's no need for you to do that. You can just shut up and don't care.

so much for being nice. Baoyu have always been a very friendly and nice girl to be with. upon hearing this conversation, i really feel like landing a punch on his fucking face. BAH~! enough of that fucker, on with the entry.

yesterday, went out whole day. band stuff, blah. watched PROMISE with jasmine and claris. well, it's not that bad as what vivafen said. though it's a damn homosexual show and it's in chinese, but overall it's still alright. had dinner together with both of them. after that went back home.

today went to hok san for practice, never knew having lunch together was so much fun. the topics that we discussed. not criticising people that kind of talk. just plain chit chatting and talking cock. after that went to meet jerry for swee lee sales.

he made a fool out of himself because of me for testing the pedals. sorry dude! partly the fault was the guitar because it's a fender's jaguar. full of switches and buttons. jerry's spoilt for choice on which to use. he had a hard time playing with those string and soon he realised that the 6th string are totally out of the bridge. in the end we decided that DS7 is better than TS7. so i bought DS7.

on 2 occasions, we tested out TS7. first time at bras basah, we said it's shit. we tested the 2nd time today, thinking that the result will differ from the first time. but still TS7 disappointed us.

i return back home as a very happy bloke after what took place these 2 days. hope everyday it's will be like either of these 2 days.

that's it for now. have to get down to my assignments already. totally dreading it.

jinxed

Listening - Marilyn Manson : mOBSCENE

well, know why my webby URL is www. JINXED-ONE.blogspot.com? well, here's your answer. in school, whatever devices the lecturer give me to use. be it CPU hardware, laptop, bluetooth PCI card, IrDA (infrared device) or PDA. it always gave way and break down whatever application i'm using.

i use the laptop, the whole class are trying to install the bluetooth device. i can't even on the application. the PDA, i on bluetooth, bluetooth gone. try to enable it. works at no avail. try installing the hardware then on it to install window XP, cannot install, tons of problems crop up.

now, everybody's laptop and PDA can log in to the ITE wireless LAN. only my laptop cannot connect. how cool.

conclusion. never let me touch your devices, my hands are jinxed. it will spoil then break down. but for exception, i will encourage claris to let me touch her laptop or computer. so it will break down and she will lose all her songs, videos and pictures. *laughs!

i'm trying to finish my assignments these few days. as what claris says, the spirit's high but the flesh are weak. *laughs. i am one example.

shitloads

Listening - Some Mushroomhead song

unexpected shit piled up these few days.

the whole class got miss nyoe (PE teacher) fed up. mr paulo and mr noel each gave assignments and have to be submitted next week. class test 1 on next week. consecutively 3 days! mr paulo's assignment and presentation had to be handed up next monday. class test on tuesday. mr noel's assignment on wednesday. damn it! SUN JAVA class teacher mr low also intending to give us a class test. and you know what's the best thing. my com's giving way now. it kept on restarting itself. how nice! and the damn com doesn't give way to my brother. the damn com ONLY restarts itself when i'm using. how sentimental.

i'm going home early today! just got a news today. mr paulo never come to school today. so early release! great! get some stress off.

today. again will do some infrared stuff and bluetooth stuff. it's a good thing there's no JAVA class today. if not it will be typing typing and more typing with loads of mistakes to check and compile and executing the file saved.

okay, class starting.

randomness

Watching - Cradle Of Filth : Cradle to Enslave

had my lunch. while bringing my plates to the basin. i turned back to see my mum. sitting there, alone. having her lunch. a sudden sadness struck me. i don't know why.
what paced through my mind was this.

it always seems that she's having meals at home alone. with no one to accompany her. with no one to talk to. she's just sitting down there having her meal. so quiet. the silence creeps me out. i really felt very uncomfortable to see that sight.

on another note, she's always asking if we're coming back home for dinner. we are always like kind of irritated because she kept asking it day after day. but now, i really felt unjust for her for a moment. maybe she just wants the family warmth.
the warmth of the whole family sitting down together for a meal. nothing beats the warmth of the whole family together to our parents.

we, now as teenagers may not see it this way. but once we grow up and have a family of our own. we will know how it feels like. asking the kids back for a meal. is that something very hard to accomplish? we are always giving excuses like we busy and stuff. but are we really THAT busy to just take out an hour of our time, just to sit down have a decent meal with our parents before continuing what we have on our hands?

we always never spare a thought for our parents. we always take them for granted. we always have all these regrets. we would have to face the fact that one day they will have to leave this world. whether we like it or not. no matter what we do now. when the day arrives, we will always blame and question ourselves. 'why didn't i spend more time with my parents? why didn't i do what a normal filial son/daughter will do? now that they are gone. what am i going to do without them?'

there's always this feel of emptiness in us whenever someone close to us just passed away.

we always hang phrases like 'my mum's such an ass. my mum's such a bitch. my parents are always so unreasonable. my parents never even thought about how i feel. my parents never cared about me.'

our parents won't reject something that's reasonable. it's either that's it's against their will or it's something that cannot be compromised. well, they gave birth to you. obviously they have all the rights to control what you do. even if there's nothing wrong in it. it's against their will, just compromise with them and everything will be alright.

all in all, whatever happens. our parents wants the best for us. about that lunch just now. my mum bought tons of ingredients from the 'yong tau foo' stall. even though she know that we cannot finish all the ingredients at lunch. but she will always think stuff like 'what if i didn't buy enough? then my kids will be starving. better buy more.' she will always put these thoughts at heart. she won't mind spending alittle but more. and THOSE are their hard earned money.

we never knew what our parents went through just to bring us up to who we are now. seriously, i felt real bad when i'm spending money like water. and they are working their guts out just to support the family. and the best thing is, my dad's nearing 60 and my mum's nearing 50. it's supposed to be an age where they should enjoy the life as a retiree. but NO! they are still working.

and have we really put ourselves into THEIR shoe? think about how they feel, and why are they feeling this way. how selfish we are, as their children. to think they put up with so much agony just for us. we are so much a bunch of ingrates.

Rejoice! - dilema

listening - Mudvayne : Forget to Remember

Happy Birthday, Kelly!

First and foremost, happy birthday kelly. may all your wishes come true and have a great year ahead.

it's not as bad as what i expected! i was expecting tons of work when i got back to school. it's a good thing that they focused more on theory the first 3 days.

well, it's been a long time since i had this feeling. mixed feelings. mixed with all sorts of feeling - love, happiness, sadness, frustration. it mixed up to a whole pile of shit! *laughs.

yesterday night was the most difficult night i've been through. it's hard to sleep with all those phlegm in my lungs. it's like something stuck in the lungs and every breath you take will irritate the the throat and lungs. and the phlegm felt like it's flickering with every breath. totally irritating.

tonight, hok san chu shi. going to orchard. I MUST GO! *laughs. we are always so excited when we are going to orchard. it's welcoming at meritus, yet again. but it's cool to see all the people walking around looking at you. and the best of it? oogling girls. *laughs

tomorrow, looking so forward for tomorrow. get to play together and learn a new song! cool. and we are going to the soft gathering at earshot at the arts house, as a whole band. without the drummer though. *laughs.

i've sorted out. since my whole family is so against of me getting a laptop. i shan't get it. but in exchange, i'm going to spend all of that money, for all my gears! i will get everything i wanted by next year's july, hopefully. if i strictly follow the finance plan i had planned out. i will strive to do it. i want those stuffs! jerry, i won't forget you. 1st priority will be on you. rest assure. i owe you too much, buddy.

*edit*: well, hope you like the cake that we specially ordered for you!

P.S: the last line is at the first paragraph. not to spoil the mood. i shifted to the last paragraph. she won't read so much of my crap to reach the bottom. *laughs.

absence

Watching : Slipknot - Before I Forget (live at conan)

i shall update once i get back from an errand. if my brother is not using the computer later tonight.

----------------------------

Replies

Jerry - well, she's like that. she's quite delighted knowing that she looks a little like alexi. that's what you say though. i never did say a thing. *laughs.

deathisme - no choice. read my entry.

kelly - read my entry. *laughs. just updated. sorry guys.

----------------------------

here's the update. as you can see. i have been skipping lesson for the pass few days due to my hair. don't wish to get into more trouble. might as well don't go school rather than getting into more trouble.

it's been boring this few days. don't know what to expect when i get back to school. i'm sure going to be in deep shit. my leave have all been cleared. not counting the absence this week. what i can expect is tons of working for me to finish when i get back to school on friday.

went to collect my amp. i waited for like one and a half hour. the guy felt bad and charged me free for my amplifier repairs. which is like 20 bucks. cool! 20 bucks is in the pocket! looking forward to this saturday's practice.

pallid incompetence

Watching - Green Day : American idiot
; Korn : twisted

well, incompetence humans always make us thought we are at fault. we always have this ILLUSION that we are at fault. but actually we are not. subconsciously it's our guilt conscious having illusions that we are guilty for what we did. actually it's not. conclusion, i'm not going to care about what's going on. i believe in what i do to myself. i have other social life than lion dance. accept me for who i am. if not, shun me.

saturday was great. had a practice session at jerry's house. kind of bring the bond between the guitarists and the bassist closer. refer to jerry's blog for a more detailed information. *laughs! i'm just plain lazy.

sunday sucked pretty much. nothing to do. got the feeling of condemn. couldn't be bother by it. stay at home rot.

today, went to school. *laughs. i reached school forgot to tap in. realised that when i'm outside java classroom. went all the way down to tap in. and you know what? when i got into java class. mr low tell me course manager coming for inspection. i sure get caught because of my hair. then i decided on the spot to go home. and he say again, these 3 days all lecturers will be patrolling around the campus to catch attire and grooming. so i decided again. not to go school for 3 days. *laughs. enjoying life. it's always fun to enjoy life. *laughs

*censored*

Listening - Slipknot : Duality

i was calling my dad to enquire about the laptop when he told me that don't buy the laptop. say he's going to NS soon, so i can use the computer shit. he's the one being selfish at first. he's the one at fault in the fucking first place. why the fuck he put everything down in my name and claim it's my fucking fault. says i'm too materialistic and stuff.

that motherfucking asshole psychoed my dad into not buying a laptop for me. i've been getting all this shit all these days. what the fuck is wrong with this fucking whole world. is everyone against me or what. well, maybe just my god damn assholic brother. he doesn't know what i need. he doesn't know what i want. and yet he's speaking all those shit to my father. i need a laptop because i need my privacy and i need mobility to do everything that i need outside the house. he doesn't understand a fucking shit about what are my purpose in the, what are my goals. you think i will want to get a laptop? not that i've not considered about my finance status. i've thought about it. that's why i'm willing to do all shit to get a laptop. for my own use!

i caught him red handed meddling with my stuff. i have every right and every reason to get a laptop. and look what he done to me. all those bullshit comments made my dad changed his mind. totally. it's not as if i'm calling my dad to sponsor me or something. i'm willing to save up and pay it myself. if i'm calling my dad to sponsor. whatever decision he comes to, i will respect it. but now it's my money! my own fucking money! what the hell more do you expect from me?

i never knew how much he's an ass. well, for sure, if he wants to talk to me about this. i swear to everyone who read this entry, i'm going to slam the fucking door right in his fucking face and ignore him right from the beginning. i'm not going to give in this time.

for once he told me, if i want to get a laptop because of my own needs, i will have to work hard for it. for once i thought, he really considered in the shoes of my parents and me. but now, he screwed up everything. EVERYTHING!

you guys keep on saying that i'm not giving in to my brother. you think i don't want to reconcile? it's not as if i'm trying not to hate him. he just fucking screw it up. now what you guys have to fucking say about it. if you are going to persuade me about reconciling with my brother. forget it. shut your trap and get a fucking life. i will never forgive what he have done. all the bullshit he have said. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU MORONIC BITCH. for now you can see how hypocrite my brother is.

---------------------------------------------

the band thing, it's coming along with lots of ups and downs. bassist maybe gone, vocalist maybe gone. i've got it covered up. trying my best to persaude my friend into our vocalist so the bassist will stay. hope everything goes well. the vocalist says that the road that we are taking now isn't what she have in mind. let's see what turns out.

*truly* unsatisfied shit

Listening - Mushroomhead : Kill tomorrow

i'm kind of disappointed by recent incidents that made me feel that we are always intruded by the things that other people do. i was demoralised and i don't feel like doing anything yesterday. it's like so much of helping yet, the other party gave up or back out last minute. making all efforts that i made futile. i was disappointed. in fact very disappointed. i can't describe how i felt yesterday. i'm feeling a wee bit better but it's still demoralising once i recall the incidents.

today will be the day the band meet up without the bassist. i hope we would sort things out. the things that jerry spoke about. just hope everything goes well.

my dad allowed me to get a laptop already. i'm absolutely scared that the promotion ended as today is the 1st day of the month. i'm afraid that the promotion ended yesterday and i totally missed it. i would regret.

i'm thinking through what actually took place throughout the duration of this month. what the hell have i done and what have i done to deserve these kind of treatments. it's a total mental torture. nonetheless, life goes on..

*edit*: truly, as what i expected, the promotion ended yesterday. feeling more fucked up right now. thanks for this shit motherfucking world..