shit myself up

Watching : Devildriver - end of the line

seriously, i gave myself too much shit. too much shit too handle. let's see the list i want to get it done in the month of march.

1. get a job *the one i'm on now ends on thrusday*
2. have a guitar lesson
3. save up as much money as possible

you may think it's not that much. but when i gave it a thought just now, it's too much shit.

you see i have yet to see my poly time-table. which i hope at night will be very free, i will get a job to fill that in. i have to juggle between band practice, lesson and lion dance, and at the same time not to neglect my studies. WOW. that will be all.

i think i'm going to be late for work. AGAIN

absence

Listening : Roadrunners United - Voice of the voiceless

Saturday

other than work, slacked at home all day. tired but doesn't have the mood to sleep. so i went on using the computer instead. soon enough, went to my uncle's house for some kind of mini gathering. had a long chat with my uncle and my cousin. it's like for a whole 2 hours just chatting about life and how it goes around. i'll elaborate on that when it comes to the near end of the entry. after that went to orchard road meet ah dai.

reached orchard road via cab. it's quite cheap i must say. i'm expecting like 10 bucks, but it's halved? hmm... so we went around cineleisure and heeren for a while. a little interesting thing before the people come.

ah dai and i are like waiting at the traffic light to go to heeren when i saw this malay guy on bike with his girlfriend. while driving pass the traffic light, he keep on 'chut' to one girl also waiting to cross the road. i was like what the hell, your girlfriend is just behind you and you actually did that. so i thought that girl must be some kind of heavenly beauty for him to do that in front of his girlfriend. when i turned to the girl the malay 'chut' at, OMFG.

IT'S A FUCKING BAPOK**!!

**bapok means transexual, and i mean guy to girl in here.

ah dai saw it. he almost puked. he even called one of his friend to get him his dinner. and now he blames me for losing his appetite because i told him about the bapok. then he went to take a glance at her (and him). really. that bapok is really disgusting.
now i know why the malay 'chut' at her (and him)

went to quanda's birthday party at night at K box after meeting up with the guys. then the party went on from 11pm till 6am. some didn't make it. they KOed after so much drinking and had to be sent home. some ups and down during the party. shan't elaborate much.

i went tipsy actually but i controlled myself not to drink so much, but actually i already had alot. i was like just entered the room only, ah seng came up to me with a cup of martell in hand. the cup isn't that kind of small cup. those glass cup, and it's half full. there isn't any ice, so he was expecting me to drink it all up in the name of friendship, and i did. i was thinking to myself 'this is just the beginning'

went home after sending someone home. so yeah, after that KOed in bed after having a shower.

Monday

woke up special early to run some errand for my dad. after that, went to school. every one's like so shocked to see me in school. i went to school for the sake of mr francis because it's his last day in school. he's resigning from school and not retiring. so he's still out in the work force.

had fun, pictures and alot of laughters. in fact tears too. don't wish to elaborate much. basically, yesterday i was just running around here and there. so not much to update on yesterday.

that shall be all. today's another day to rejoice. if you know what i mean. hmm...

trance

Watching : COB - in your face

have been slacking all day at home to research on guitars and such.

shall update tomorrow or tuesday. i'm dead beat right now. still in the state of daze, had to much alcohol the night before.

strange events

Ministry of Filthy Pigs

well, consecutively the 2nd new year, i'm approached with some weird ass people.

last year, i went to chinatown to have a walk alone. then this guy came to me and said that my life's pretty much in a mess. lots of troubles and such. the list goes on, so is his rantings. pretty much of his stuff is actually quite true. then he offered me an amulet, saying that it's a rare amulet from thailand to change my fate at a mere 49 bucks. i was looking bewildered at him thinking 'this shit can change fate?' so i paid 10 bucks for deposit and due to not enough cash, he call me return to him tomorrow. but he never did gave me that amulet.
after much thought and consideration and asking around. i didn't went back. so just treat it as 10 bucks coffee money to the thai. stupid me.

this year, well, today, i went doewnstairs to help my dad run an errand. while i was walking to the lift, this indian set his eyes on me and signal me to go to him. it's like only 2m away, and i must walk that path in order to get to the lift. so i went. he gave me a firm hand shake and said, 'happy new year, you are in luck my friend' so he gave me a piece of paper with the draw date of the 4D and gave me a number, XXXX. 'this number, go buy it, you will strike this number and win a fortune. but remember, don't cut your hair and your nails on tuesday and saturday.' then he opened up some sort of book and mumbled some indian scripture and said, 'a token of appreciation?' i looked at him and told him i got no money. so he said, go up to get some money, he will be waiting downstairs for 5 minutes. i said okay, and i went back up. i never did return.

i still have the piece of paper with me. i will give it a shot on the number. i will not cut my hair and nails. and i won't cut them? hmm... so yeah. no harm trying it. so if the fortune really strikes, MAMAMIA! i don't even know what i will do with it!

holidays

Listening : Shadow zone - saint of fools

just a quick one before i go to work.

much to your surprise, i won't be going to school anymore. due to some personal reasons and some issues that i shall not go into. i'm afraid if i go into it, trivial matter like this will blow up and thus creating uneccesary shit.

time's up, till later.

--------------------------------------------

Saturday

morning went to work. nothing special about it.

well, met up with jerry to seriously get my ass down to practice some of the songs we are going to cover. because of the new year period, i have been lion dancing and pretty much neglected my guitar. pieces is a bad ass song. so fucking hard to learn. damn it. practice awhile, play play a while, then went down to bras basah to get my hardcase. accompanied jerry to GC to give kelvin his strings. then went around asking prices for the stuff i want. went back to jerry's house for while. went back home.

Sunday

went down early to jerry's house to do some shit before claris and jasmine come. went down to fetch them. claris sort of 'lost her handphone'. went on with the band practice. went on for like an hour or 2. went back down. there's to blanga people waiting at the side gate. went claris came out, they returned her her handphone. wow, so much patience. if i'm the person, i would just take and go. unless i can still call that person back when he/she dropped her stuff.

conclusion, i shall stop being so mean to blangas. criticising shit about them. maybe they are really a bunch of down to earth nice people. just that a handful of them always catch my attention and make me think that blangas a are bunch of idiots. blame them. not my fault.

after that, carried my damn huge and heavy hardcase to hok san. usual stuff. prepare and go. bla bla bla.

Monday

i shall skip monday.

Tuesday

yesterday, official not going school from yesterday onwards. was slacking and playing around with my guitar the whole day. listening to effects sample and reading up materials on guitar and guitar refurnishing. pretty much sum up one whole day by doing all those stuff.

and god damn my brother for making me doze off to sleep when i want to use the computer in the middle of the night. he will always use until wee hours and not let me use. fuck him. it's been consecutively the 3rd day. i shall see about it tonight. must do up some shit to the computer before i go out to work today. so that we won't get to use it.

bullet for my valentine?

Watching : Slipknot - (sic) at BDO

well, i've already submitted my choice of courses to MOE already. i sure hope that everything goes well, and i get into the course i wanted.

yesterday was valentine's day. it's not all good. went to school for a short while. after that went to TP for course advising and such shit. was under huge parental stress as alot of you may know about it already.

accompanied friend to make JPSAE, but the system crops up on her and made her think that the school do not want her due to her quite bad results. she cried while waiting for the people in TP to sort the problem out. it's not such a good day for us as you can see. went to temple to pray and see our fortune. i don't believe in such stuff so i was just plain following? it's always nice to have somebody around when you are really down and you need someone there. i definitely am there for her.

don't get the wrong idea people.

went to work at night, and damn i am going to complain. shit to the fucking government, making every ERP entry $2 during peak hours. i was so pissed. monday, i took cab, i thought it was already way over my budget, $8. but yesterday, the cab fare was a total of $10.70! including the peak period surcharge and that damn ERP gantry shit. so much for losing money even before working.

the work was rather boring but the pay is good. so it's an easy job. enough said.

while in the midst of frustration and on my way to my uncle's house on advising on how to choose my course, jerry called asking me where i am and such. it's such a mistake for me to think that the ella gathering is on thursday. much to my dismay, it's my fault not to jolt down. can see rockerella was quite pissed. sorry guys! will mend that up the next time round we meet up. at the background, i can actually hear rockerella shouting. 'bu yao gen ni hao le!' i didn't did that on purpose. i swear upon myself.

well, at least with my uncle, i can work out something. with my dad, i can't. the 2 stubborn headed talk. you know what's the result. so yeah. my uncle's being very encouraging and such. he helped me through the days when i'm choosing courses for my ITE and now, poly. he's been very patient to me and guided my through everything very well and detailed. thank you loads, uncle herbert. he's sort of MR KNOW IT ALL. knows everything about courses and such. so choosing him to turn to when my dad's nagging is the best choice.

after everything sorted out, went to have supper at joo seng hawker centre. turn off was that the ever popular ba chor mee stall never open. the great thing was, i saw zheng yi. well, he's now waiting for NS where he will enlist into it in the month of june if i'm not wrong. he did retook his O levels and he did pass it. but nonetheless, he forgot to defer. so his now waiting to get enlisted. good luck.

so much for my valentines. happy valentine's? i sincerely doubt so.

friday was supposed to go WCCC and train for sunday's GMH. in the end, it was cancelled, postponed to sunday. last minute shit again. a turn of event, friday, dinner at WCCC. getting poorer and poorer each day? last time restaurant, now at CC. got meaning or not? spend more money for fuck's sake. it's the fucking governments' money. we paid tax alright. well, at least it's not me. BUT, MY DAD PAYS THE GOD DAMN TAX ALRIGHT!

was having a conversation with girl, come to know that much of the guys are scumbags. well, from what i can see, i'm a guy too. does that make me a scumbag? you decide for yourself. upon request, i'm supposed to say this. 'i quite sad la, w/o a stead to celebrate'. *ignore it totally, please*

end up here. i'm getting prepared for work tonight. meeting jun jie for dinner.

Dictated

Watching : Ill nino - what you deserve

quote from 21st March 2005

------------------------------------

wat to do. i have little say in this family.. my future.. the courses i wan.. my wish to go NAFA.. down the drain.. all thanks to my beloved dad..

------------------------------------

history is repeating itself. i mean it's totally understandable that my dad wants the best for me. but forcing me to do something i do not like, is not a valid option.

business courses are a bore. totally out for me. engineering courses too. music courses are totally out, due to my dad. design courses is also not something my dad likes. he always wants us to go business course. trying to psycho me into it this afternoon. it failed miserably though. now i'm only left with life science courses and IT courses. those 12 choices are so fucking hard to fill in.

jerry claims that life science, all are left for a 19 pointer is nursing. which obviously i won't go into it. so i'm left with IT. IT.. i lost my interest in wireless and computer stuff. so what am i left with?

NOTHING!

i felt so dictated by my father. i'm really at a loss of what to do. i need advices. constructive advices. jerry call me ask rockerella about her course. maybe it will suit me. i doubt so but i won't say i won't go ask her.

for now, the only courses that really interest me after much hoo haa are DMD (Digital Media Design), Media Design and also another designing course in Singapore Poly. but still my dad relates design courses to art. say i just pass my art. where can go design courses. sure fail one.

he call me to think through my choices thoroughly. call me to give the choices a wise choice. but after so much discrimination, i don't even feel like going polytechnic anymore. it chores me to have to go through this ordeal again. i know this is coming. but i didn't know it will hurt that bad.

he wants the best for me. he wants me to have a bright future. i totally understand.but leaving me no choice to choose is not a valid option. interest as he claims will grow with time. starting the course out without a correct mindset will never ever arouse interest.

i respect him as my dad. at the same time, i also want the best for my future. studying something i like, to my interest will make me excel in my studies. but he don't see it this way. what am i going to do? i'm really at a loss. i didn't know this thing will stress me so bad.

what are the things that i can say to convince my dad and at the say time not upset him? what are the courses that i should choose that i'm interested in and at the same time not upset my dad? i feel so dictated.

what should i do? leave everything to him and just let him choose the 12 courses or should i take everything into my hands? i'm so damned.

harboured

Listening : nothing

i passed my O levels already. i cleared my math. from D7 previously to C5. and i did better for science, C6 to B4. and art from a fail D7 grade to a pass C6.

it's not surprising that i'm actually happy with the result. but at the same time, i feel the pain. the pain of losing my friends over at ITE. moving along to poly, of course i have to put down my ITE side and go for the poly courses.

upon request, i told my results to my ITE friends. it's so saddening that they replied, 'okay congrats! i won't see you in ITE anymore.'

the pain of losing friends, alot may have experienced. as what i am now. i'm truly in the middle of being happy and sad.

my dad was actually very happy with my result. today was his birthday. so after i told him my results, he sent me an sms saying, 'i'm very happy and i'm proud of you. you are my best birthday present, ever.' this aroused my guilt conscious for not studying hard when i can. making my parents going through this ordeal.

happy or not? i'm not so sure. headache sets in. the choosing of courses. till tomorrow.

chicken shit

Listening : Evanescence - Bring me back to life

some people just don't know how bad their vocal cords sounds. man i was going home yesterday night. i was sitting in the mrt without listening to me discman. so i thought maybe i take a nap cause it's a long journey. and then it started.

@$(*@&^$(^#_%_#&%)*^* some random chinese pop songs. and that guy's voice is all running. it's like killing chicken. but he kept singing. from clementi all the way to raffles place. OH MY FUCKING GOD! i thought i would just put on my headphone just to cut out his singing. but i can still hear time with my headphones on! how bad can it be?! well, he can always just go to K box or party world. they open at midnight. damn it. for fuck's sake..

DON'T SING IN THE MRT!!

you just look like some stupid american idol contestant who can't sing and are just trying to impress the judges by your shitty voice and appearance. he look like a normal poly student though. but it's just the impression he gave me through his singing. it's fucking horrible. be an affliate of steven lim. he's a gay and you are one too.

it's a good thing not much people is on the train. if not, everybody will be like covering their ears trying their very best not to hear your killing shrieking voice. it's totally shit.

i was like walking to cafe 1 in school when i was stopped by 2 KUKU lecturers. they stopped me and said my hair unacceptable. the highlighted hair, the length blah blah blah all that kind of shit. then i started talking cock with them. said i'm getting result today and they won't ever see me again that kind of shit. i diverted their attention to poly courses and in the end they started talking with me about poly courses. which course i want to go to and which poly. after everything, they let me off. just like that, not even remembering my hair colour. KUKU or not?

went to wanping's house to have dinner. the pain of waiting is extreme. but had fun there nonetheless. left her house at 11pm. i was just mingling with the food and chit chatting with friends. when i saw them playing heart attack. i wasn't playing but when someone shouted heart attack, i join in the fun. in the end, i got hit and had to do the forfeit. that is to eat 8 loveletters and 1 packet of chrysanthemum tea. wanping timed me but not others. biased shit. *laughs. had fun though.

tonight, another dinner's coming up. i'm getting fucking fat.

today's an anxious day for alot of us. good luck to all the O level takers. wish me luck too. i want to pass my math. DESPERATELY.

aching

Listening : 3 Doors Down - here without you

actually not much to update too. just projects and chu shi.

speaking of chu shi. if you doubt my abilities, tell me, i won't be there. thank you. for the last time, i'm not going to care about you. because of your fucking attitude and the fucking face you gave me, i've come to realise that, getting bothered by what you have given me is dumb. i shan't be bothered by you.

i find more pleasure in helping other troupes than helping a troupe that consist of you. i've been trying to avoid you, but still, what is inevitable is inevitable. just shut the hell up, and you will be find. i'm better off without you.

projects, rushed my project till 2am in the morning, hoping to present the next day. in the end, it got postponed. because of? those people who fucking dilly dally and take their own fucking sweet time to come to class and still wants to go first. damn.

laters

Listening : Mudvayne - TV radio

i shall blog tonight. rest assure, i will

fatigue

Lsitening : Nothing

what's the best thing you can do on earth?

1. have sex
2. bath
3. kissing a girl

---------------------------------------------------

well, for me, it will be bathing. it's the best feeling you can ever have apart from kissing or having sex. maybe because i have never tried any of those yet.

but think about it, you can't kiss a girl everyday, and you can't have sex everyday. but! you can bath everyday. imagine you came back home, you are all sticky and sweaty. what would you do? with the same given options. i will go and bathe first. it's like so refreshing after that bath. and you are better off doing other stuff.

this is such a random thought for today. stupid me.

well, today went to chu weijin. it's a totally different kind of experience for me. the things they do, the procedure and how they do it. it's a very tiring day. but i'm here blogging at 2am is because i scared i might fall asleep because later we must reach at 5am. because of some bugger who wants us to perform at 7am in the morning. so, if i sleep now, i confirm KO cannot wake up. so i decided not to sleep. but it seems like keep myself busy, trying to stay awake is also of no use. i'm actually going to doze off at anytime from now.

well, here's an incident that i want to type out, just to keep , myself awake.

i was having lunch with the weijin people. i went to the 'wu xiang' store to get something to eat. then i didn't take notice of the table number. i told the uncle i'm eating in the coffeeshop, the coffeeshop is quite big, so he requested the table number. fair enough, i went back to check and came back with the number.

i, 'uncle, table 42'
uncle, 'don't call me uncle. we are of quite the same age so don't call me that. i'm only 38.'
i, '...'

i was totally speechless by this thing he said. do i look like so old that i look like a 38 year old. damn. what the hell is wrong with the world. it's not turning in the right direction perhaps. or maybe spinning at the wrong axis or something.

after 2 days of madness, i'm lethargic for the 3rd wave of madness. thursday i think i will just go school and just.. ... sleep. best way to get energised but best way to miss all the knowledge that the teaecher is giving us. i guess tomorrow come home, i won't use the computer. i will go straight into my dreamland.